Monday, 30 November 2009

Who am I going to hate on now?

The dream is over for Lloyd. Que the violins. And 'best bits' montage.
Best bits though? Really? I'd say best of a bad lot.

In all fairness whenever a contestant leaves I manage to feel a certain amount of sadness (not including Kandy Rain). Credit where credit is due, he was very dignified on hearing the news of his departure and took it well. Lloyd you have shown me up to be a right cow.

Back to business though. FINALLY HES GONE. There was a considerable amount of tension for a moment there though; Lloyd and Olly standing on the dimly lit stage awaiting the moment Dermot would read out one or other of their names.
Upon hearing his same, Olly decided is would be appropraite to show an indecent display of happiness resulting in an awkward moment for all concerned (and all watching) and Lloyd feeling as crap as a badgers arse.

Also on Sunday nights results show:
Alicia Keys performed. She graced our eyes and ears with not one but three of her tracks. I felt truly blessed. However, I did feel she should desist from talking to us tour-style and get on with some singing. She also appeared to have fashioned her red PVC catsuit out of Jedward's 'Oops I did it again' suits.

Rihanna also performed her new single 'Russian Roulette' with a haircut that can only be described as 'a Rachel Adedeji' (sorry Rihanna).

Semi-final next week and am I right in thinking Lady GaGa is performing? Or is that the Final?
Whenever, you are in store for some irritable ranting about the try-hard that is Lady GaGa.

Sunday, 29 November 2009

Commentary Blog. Live Show 8.

Its Elton John/Take-That week and on first inspection this appeared to be a week for potential decent, if not, fabulous performances. It is now 6:26 on Saturday evening and I am comtemplating tonight's events. The song choices leave much to be desired. Danyl's does anyway. He is singing 'Your Song' by Elton John, a predictable ballad that I'm sure he will sing standing/wandering in an effort to appear-less-cocky. So tonight we are faced with hip-wiggling (fine by me), 'fanks' (bored now), drawn out notes, warbling (Joe) (I know he's good but whatever) and poor singing quality whilst winking at Cheryl. Holy Crap.

8:00. Titles.

Dermot enters the stage but not before giving the audience his signature/annoying salute. He gets himself slightly tongue-tied when introducing the judges. How embarrassing. Is it time for Jedward to take over yet?

Danyl begins the show with what we have all been waiting for; he is going to bust some moves. This, indeed, makes my beginning paragraph seem silly (I apologise for my ignorance). Surely this choice of song did not need so much speculation as to whether he would be a competent enough dancer? He is a dance teacher, a DANCE TEACHER.
And boy does he get his groove on. I feel there is a distinct danger that Louis will be so overcome with excitement he will invade the stage and jump on Danyl. The performance was as 'camp as Christmas', as Cheryl describes it, and fabulous till the very end.

Enter Lloyd. If anyone needs a wee or even just to scream into a pillow, now is the time to do it. He is singing a ballad, presumably one that uses no more than three notes, because that's all you need really isn't it Cheryl?
I feel it necessary to close my eyes for the next three minutes and travel to the far-off distant place that is JedLand. (Ahh, much better).
Judges' comments. Louis feels it is necessary to make a snide comment that can in no way be described as constructive. Congratulations, Louis you have just won the battle for 'Most Pointless Human'.
I feel sorry for Lloyd, it's not his fault he can't sing.

Olly 'crotch thrusting' Murs is up. (Where has all the crotch thrusting gone anyway?). He sings a ballad and begins the performance sitting on the edge of the stage singing to a girl in the audience. She has her hand on his leg. GET YOUR MITS OFF HIM MISSY. What with Olly singing to her, Simon calling her 'cute', and Dermot commenting on her smile, that random girl in the audience has had more air time than Rachel Adedeji.

Geordie Joe. I like him, especially his accent, but I'm finding it slightly dull. Also, in my humble opinion, I wouldn't buy the kind of music he would make. However he again came out and gave an excellent performance, note perfect, all the judges gushed.

Stacey Solomon, the one for whom my opinions get me the most grief. I think it is important to point out that she went out of tune a few times in that performance as not one of the judges felt it necessary to do so. She seems like a lovely, genuine girl, and if that is what this programme is about then fine, she can win it. However, I have a feeling that it is about talent, and Stacey doesn't quite make the cut. GO ON SHOOT ME.

Voting lines are open. (Anyone now voting for Lloyd should not be allowed to own a phone).

Oh no. I forgot we had to endure Lloyd twice.
This time he's in morning dress, and is holding some kind of pimp stick. Again, the range is limited and still he manages to be out of tune for a substantial amount of time.

Its Danyl and he's back to what he does best. He performs 'Your Song' and I take back what I said at the beginning. Brilliant choice for him, bravo. They even managed to get three 'Jesus Lights' in there for good measure.

Olly. It is a boxing themed performance. Half-naked women keep walking back and forward across the stage holding signs reading 'Round 1' and so on. Finding it slightly surreal.

Joe, wow. That was top-notch I must admit. And not boring so I take my hat off to him.

Oh man, what am I going to be forced to say about Stacey now. She's singing 'Something About The Way You Look Tonight', and doing a rather good job. I still don't think performing is her strong point, but she has a very good voice. That and her personality will carry her through to the final.

So there you have it. Dermot will tell us he will see us tomorrow and it will all be over until then.
Roll Credits.

Saturday, 28 November 2009


There have been two more incredible interviews with the legend that is John and Edward.

First up we have a Holy Moly interrogation.

And lastly, on friday night Jedward appeared on The Late Late Toy Show. They were their usual lively selves and bounced around the set doing flips and walking on their hands- as you do. But there was one magical moment when John decided it would be a good idea to do the splits in tight silver trousers. As you can imagine, this decision backfired immediately with the cry of 'Oh shit! Er, I ripped my pants.' OH HOW WE LAUGHED.
Watch below, what a bloody corker.
(Pant ripping incident at 1:39)

Friday, 27 November 2009

Winners single. I am displeased.

Information has been leaked regarding the winners single. Apparently this year, the winner of the X Factor will be releasing Journey's 'Don't stop believing'. A song that Joe previously sung on Rock Week. Good choice? I'm not so sure. You would have thought this choice of song must be geared to Joe's victory. However last year the same thoughts were aroused when the winners single was chosen as 'Hallelujah' that Diana Vickers had previously sung in the competition. Alas, this did not aid her in the slightest as she was booted out of the competition in the semi-final.
Simon's second choice of song is apparently Miley Cyrus' 'The Climb'. Against my better judgement I must conclude that this would be a better choice. But only due to the necessary cheesey nature of the song which is so apt for an X Factor christmas number 1.

Thursday, 26 November 2009


If you are ever feeling a little low, just slap this on and it'll cheer you right up.
I don't want to enjoy it but I LITERALLY CANNOT AVERT MY EYES.


This week on JedWatch:

To kick off Jedward week, the boys were on GMTV early on monday morning. They were evidently excited about this and exclaimed 'were on GMTV guys!' (I wonder how many times Jedward have said the word 'guys' in their lifetime- probably even more times than I have watched their rendition of 'Oops I did it again'). They were also thrilled by the 'long couch' (bless 'em). I enjoyed Kates retort: 'It is a long couch'. Funny, if slightly patronising.

Watch the full interview below.

Next up was the turn of This Morning, with Phillip Schofield and X Factor's very own Holly Willoughby.
This is a must watch. Absolutely hilarious. Genius I tell you.
Their genuine shock and excitement at the wonder of seeing Holly both the night before and that morning. Their persistent shout-outs to 'the people that helped and supported' them. John's slip up when he accidently let slip that he wanted Stacey to win.
When asked what they are going to do in the future their reply was 'Well right now were doing This Morning', only John and Edward would state such an obvious fact. Another hilarious moment only to happen to John and Edward was when Johns microphone fell out of his pocket with an almighty crash.
All classic Jedward moments.
Watch below.

The twins have also appeared on Live From Studio Five but I have yet to find a video. As soon as I do it will be up here because that interview is also not one to be missed! What a corker.

Monday, 23 November 2009

In loving memory of John and Edward

Occasionally there comes a time when the whole country stops; the death of an important figure, a natural disaster, the election of the Prime Minister. Sunday 22nd of November saw another of those times, a day we will never forget. The night John and Edward went crashing out of the X Factor.

Sunday night saw John and Edward Grimes sharing the bottom two with previous favourite, Olly Murs. This was a disastrous situation for a die hard Jedward fan/want-er of Olly's babies like me. No matter what the result of the sing-off was, I would be left reeling with grief.
The twins kicked off the result with a rendition of Boyzones' 'No Matter What'. Admittedly the majority of the performance was out of tune, but then we expected nothing less. I feel a spectacularly bad ballad was the perfect, and most endearing way, to round off those adorable brother's journey through our hearts.

Olly Murs gave a good performance of 'Wonderful Tonight' by Eric Clapton and each of the judges (bar Jedward's mentor, Louis Walsh) voted to save him. Simon Cowell said he would miss the twins, and sounded genuinly sad. Cheryl blew them kisses. Dannii however took slightly longer over her decision, making an obvious point to Simon by asking the question 'Is this a singing contest that we are judging', presumably related to the fact that Cowell aided the defeat of both Rachel Adedeji and Lucie Jones by weaker vocalists Lloyd Daniels and John and Edward. She seemed to conclude that it was, in fact, a singing competition and sent John and Edward out of the competition.


I understand the reason the twins left the competition and I am not deluded enough to believe they should have stayed. However I, along with a huge mass of Jedward followers, feel genuinly devestated that John and Edward Grimes have left the competition. Never again will we see them bouncing around on a saturday night wearing lurid matching suits custom made by the primary school around the corner. Never again will we witness a dance routine involving blow-up Jedward heads, ghosts that look like they have been dropped straight out of an 80's Doctor Who episode and women in a bikini/tu-tu combo straddling the boys- the latter of which could only be described as perverse.

It is a great loss you must agree.
If however, you do not agree, and are one of the disgustingly behaved, idiotic creatures in the audience who relentlessly boo the poor twins then you should be ashamed of yourself. Even as John and Edward were given the news that they were leaving the competition members of the audience continued to taunt and boo. It shows how dignified and mature the brother's are, as they continued to smile and told Olly he 'deserved to go through'.  JOHN AND EDWARD I SALUTE YOU.

Hopefully we will see alot more of Jedward in the future. I will keep you up to date with my stalking results.
I will now be taking a week out for mourning.

Thursday, 19 November 2009

Stacey 'theres always asda' Solomon

I have been thinking, recently, about what is it about Stacey Solomon that Britain has learned to so lovingly lap up. Is it her complete incompentence to hold a conversation, or perhaps the way she laughs after every sentence she utters, without fail.
I, along with the rest of the country, took an immediate liking to Stacey when she first entered our television screens back in September. However, after weeks of relentless 'Stacey-isms', I feel that she has brought a new meaning to the term 'ditzy'. It has become less about thinking 'Oh that Stacey, I do love her.' And more about laughing at her. To be completely honest it makes me cringe.
Therefore, from my point of view, I am interested to explore what it is about this Essex-born lady that the country finds so endearing.

Stacey Solomon is a 20 year old, single mother, from Essex. Perhaps the public feel she is easy to relate to, unlike many of the glamorous celebrities plastered over our media, maybe the public have latched onto this 'normal' girl that has managed to shoot to fame to aid their own insecurities. I can see a parallel with Cheryl Cole. She was from a working class background and managed to catch a break on a similar television talent show. She soon became the nations sweetheart, we all loved her for her sense of groundedness, for her beauty without the aid of cosmetic surgery and perhaps we all felt somewhat proud of her, as if she was doing it for all us boring, normal, ugly people.
I mean, no one looks at Vanessa Hudgens and thinks, 'Oh what a lovely, grounded, down-to-earth girl she is.' (At least I bloody dont). She is ridiculously attractive and has one of the most lusted after young men in the world on her arm. Cheryl Cole, however, is married to an somewhat rough, English football player who cheated on her.

Someone with a less than picture-perfect life and looks always manages to soar into our hearts with gusto.
However, in my opinion, Stacey's 'personality' finishes the moment she stops talking. When she is performing it is as if she has run out of the energy she needs to carry on her persona. She has a good voice, but that is where it seems to end. With such an incredible variety of talent this year surely there is not room for a winner who does not 'have it all'.


Wednesday, 18 November 2009

A bit of the Jedward magic.

I've come across this amazing interview Sky News has done of Jedward. If its possible I think I now love them and their bedazzled, matching suits even more. If you do not have time in your hectic lives to watch the entire 5 minutes and 22 seconds of pure Jedward magic then skip to 4:30 where John causes me to copiously chuckle out loud. 'What are you saying Steve...?'

P.S I wonder how many times you can use the word 'fun' in one interview.

Monday, 16 November 2009

Pinapples, rules, and Louis' ridiculous comments.

This X Factor weekend was an eventful one. Jam-packed with Louis' persistent rules regulations, the underdogs of the competition getting some much needed praise and celebrities interrupting performances with fruit on their heads.
Saturday night saw Olly with a broken finger (or 'almost a broken arm', as Simon would like it to be known), Jamie gaining even more criticism from Louis Walsh who of course knows everything there is to know about rock, being the manager of Westlife and Boyzone. Lloyd improved performance wise, but still gave the weakest performance of the night, while Joe took on a huge ballad and worked that X Factor lighting fabulously.

John and Edward rapped their way through Queen/Vanilla Ice's 'Under Pressure (Ice Ice baby)'. (Erm, rules Louis? Hypocrite much?). But as Simon said 'In Jedward land, that was your best performance yet', and I must say I am finding them more and more attractive every week. This worries me slightly. Stacey gave a very good vocal and recieved very good comments from the judges, but for me, I'm not quite sure what all the fuss is about. Danyl gave a fantastic rendition of 'We are the Champions' equipped with his signiture long note.

Also in saturday nights show was the peculiar spectacle of DJ, Calvin Harris, invading the stage during John and Edwards performance with a pinapple on his head. Apparently attempting to immitate their infamous hair.
He was asked to leave the studio and was not permitted to appear on the Xtra Factor where Nick Grimshaw was asked to take his place. It seems that the X Factor has taken the fruity display personally and are very angry about it. I, personally, found it incredibly funny. I mean HE HAD A PINAPPLE ON HIS HEAD FOR GOODNESS SAKE. Jedward were characteristically oblivious to the situation and carried on singing regardless, even throwing in a nice little man hug. Calvin Harris then exited the stage but not before giving John (probably?) a slap on the bottom.

Sunday night saw Jamie 'Afro' and Lloyd in the bottom two. (My personal predictions may I just say!)
Louis set himself up for what was inevitable by saying before either contestent had performed that he would make his decision on who he thought would improve the most throughout the competition. Dannii (rightfully so) gave him an inquizitive look before saying 'Well for me its just who sings the best.' Well done Miss Minogue, you are soaring in our expectations with every word you utter.
Jamie gave, what I perceived to be, his best performance yet with Queens 'The show must go on'. Lloyd sang a song well suited to his voice (mostly due to the lack of range)- 'Last Request' by Paolo Nutini.
Just as expected Cheryl and Simon saved their own acts while Louis saved Lloyd and Dannii saved Jamie, taking the vote to 'getting-a-bit-boring' deadlock. I was mildly shocked to find that Jamie had received the lowest number of votes from the public and so was knocked out of the competition.
I am not going to be hypocritical and blame Lloyd for Jamies exit (just as I didnt blame Jedward for Lucie's)
I blame Louis Walsh.

Saturday, 14 November 2009

Are we missing something here?

To begin this post I think first everyone should watch this interview of Lucie Jones by 'Holy Moly'.

Firstly, I would like to bring your attention to the apparent change in Lucie's whole demeanor. She is confident, funny, honest and bolshy. My own personal opinions on what she has to say I will leave out for the time being. Whilst exploring in more depth the footage that we are shown and in what light the contestants are portrayed during the show i began to consider the idea that we are not getting a true representation of the personalities of these young people.

Lucie Jones has been portrayed by the producers of the programme to be quiet, shy and girly with a slight incompetance to hold an adult conversation. Now that she has left the competition and is released from under the thumb on Simon Cowell she appears to have a change in personality. Most likely her natural personality that had been stunted for the duration of her time on the show.
If you look at her fellow contestent in the girls category, Stacey 'there's always Asda' Solomon; her and Lucie are polar opposites (or according to how the producers would like us to perceive them).
Rachel Adedeji was recently booted out of the competition and accused of being 'boring', possibly because she did not receive nearly as much airtime as many of the other contestents. Rachel is said to think viewers were being asked to put themselves in the camp of one or the other girl (referring to Lucie or Stacey) Rachel said: 'At the beginning, I don't think viewers knew who I was. They knew I was this girl who liked to sing and that's all.'

Are we, as the public, being decieved into favouring a particular contestent.
I am by no means suggesting the X Factor is 'fixed', as is persistently claimed every year, I am merely investigatating the possibilities. Whether or not the winner of the show had been chosen before anyone ever appeared on our screens is for you to decide for yourselves.

(There will be a follow on from this post, involving many of the other contestents and exploring the ways in which we may not being seeing them in their true light)

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Louis gives us the V's

Sitting in my living room on sunday night with a couple of friends, feet up on the couch, I noticed out of the corner of my eye something that caused me to double-take. Did Louis Walsh just put two fingers up to the crowd?! We rewound the show a few seconds (thanks to the wonders of delayTV) and watched the moment again. Yes, I do believe that was Louis Walsh gives the V's to the booing audience.

This act of defiance was in response to the crowd's booing after John and Edwards performance. To be perfectly honest, I would have done the same. The crowds insistent booing every time Jedward are even mentioned is ridiculous and just shows the audience to be ignorant and nasty.
Louis has since apologised.


This was not the only outburst from Mr Walsh last weekend. In saturday nights show he had a slight run in with host, Dermot O'Leary.
Louis described contestent, Joe McElderry as a bit more musical theatre than popstar, and Dermot replied he thought Joe was, in fact, 'a well rounded popstar'.
Louis bit back, 'Your not a judge Dermot, I'm a judge.' The situation was evidently getting slightly heated. In response Dermot said, 'I think the audience are the real judges.'

Also on saturday night Louis Walsh said in response to the Prime Ministers declaration that John and Edward 'weren't very good' that 'Simon and Gordon Brown have one thing in common- both know nothing about music.'
Simon Cowell said to Louis at the end of saturdays show: 'Tonight you have offended our Prime Minister and the British public. I think you should apologise.'

So Louis' been a touch grouchy this week. Hopefully he'll be back to his cheerful, meaningless comment giving, strange clapping self next week.

Monday, 9 November 2009

OH Simon

Week five's results show brought a whole new meaning to the phrase 'shock result'. The public are in uproar and hoping that Simon Cowell has woken up this morning, in his gold plated, silken bed, feeling rather ashamed of himself. This, however, is extremely unlikely.

Last night the public chose both John and Edward, known to most as 'Jedward', and 'voice-of-an-angel' Lucie Jones as their least favourite contestents, putting them both slap bang in the bottom two.
As both contestents came onto the stage 'singing for possibly the last time in the competition' the entire country were awaiting the moment where we would be forced to say goodbye to those imfamous twins. Some may have felt sad about this- never again would we see those two baby-faced 18 year olds with gel in their hair giving them at least another point onto their BMI, crawling through the legs of two bikini-clad women, or singing and dancing out of time in a way that only Jedward can.
I, for one, felt a great sense of loss.
Their performance was, admittedly, mediocre (but then we expected nothing less). Lucie came out and belted a rendition of 'One Moment in Time' awarding her a standing ovation from mentor Dannii Minogue.
When the moment came for the judges to vote, most of the country were sitting at home waiting for the inevitable to happen. A large number probably thinking 'at last, the time has come to banish those dreadful twins from our TV screens.'
They were wrong, however. Louis told Lucie she should not have been in the bottom two but chose to save his own act just as expected. Dannii did not feel the need to drag the moment out and merely named her own act to save. Cheryl told the twins she always enjoyed watching them but chose Lucie to stay in the competition.
Then it was Simons turn. After weeks and weeks of slating John and Edward, repeatedly telling them they 'cant sing' and referring to them as 'horrors', the public would have expected him to stand by this previous judgement and take his chance to send them out of the competition. Simon has been quoted as saying it would be a disaster if they won and he would 'leave the country'. Surely after his much displayed dislike of the boys this was the moment they would be sent home.
But no, Simon said he did not think either act could win and if he had to pick one act he would rather see again he 'would have to pick the boys'. He then decided he would vote to send Lucie home and take the vote to deadlock.
Lucie put her head in her hands as Dermot was given that dreaded silver envelope holding the much anticipated result. 'The person leaving the competition is........ (long pause for dramtic effect) Lucie.'
She began to cry and John and Edward looked shocked and upset as the audience booed.


The question is, was Simon's voting tactical or was he genuine when he said he did not believe either act to be possible winners so he put through the act he would rather see in next weeks show?
On the Xtra Factor later on, Simon said, 'You make a decision right in that moment. If you think it is someone who can win, you do the right thing'.
A record 16.6 millions viewers watched as Lucie crashed out of the competition on Simons command and a staggering number of complaints were written in. The X Factor website has experienced technical difficulties due to the sheer multitude of comments coming in regarding Simon's decision.

I believe Simon to be a very clever man, and there are reasons and thoughts behind every one of his actions. This year the X Factor has thrived off of the controversy surrounding it. It just so happens that John and Edward were the main recipricants of this controversy, so to see them leave the competition would be to see a huge mass of media attention fall away with them. Simon said 'I got a lot of stick for taking it to deadlock last week, and I'm going to do it again.' This suggests that Simon knows what keeps the viewers glued to their television screens; its the 'shock results' and uncertainty of the programme. By making a choice in that moment that he knows is going to have the majority of the countries press lapping it up, Simon can sit back and reap the benefits. For next week yet more viewers will be tuning in, and yet more votes will be cast due to the fear that now the X Factor is 'no longer a singing contest' their talented favourites will not make it to where they deserve to be.
Ingenious, I think you will agree. Whether or not you agree with the decision he made (I am sure if you are going by talent, every single human being in the country will not, in fact, agree with it), you cannot deny that you are talking about it. Simon Cowell does not care if the public like him or not, if he did he would hardly have created himself the persona of 'Mr Nasty'. He cares about making money. He is a money-making machine, and he is damn good at it.

I leave you with one question. Lucie could not have won the competition, just as John and Edward will not. So why does it matter? Lucie is out of the competition now, rather than in one or two weeks, does it really make that much of a difference?

Friday, 6 November 2009

Dannii Minogue takes Cheryl Cole's place as 'the nations sweetheart'

It is odd to think that just a year ago Dannii Minogue was probably the most hated judge on any talent show (perhaps bar a certain Piers Morgan). She endured constant snipes about how she is the less likeable, less pretty version of the, then, could-do-no-wrong Cheryl Cole.
However, the year of 2009 took a positive turn for Miss Minogue. With a gorgeous new haircut and a hunky younger man on her arm, things seemed to be looking up for Dannii. When the X Factor 2009 started back in September the nation seemed to see a whole new side of her. She looked amazing and was no longer in Cheryl Coles shadow.
Holly Willoughby, presenter of 'The Xtra Factor', said she found it frustrating that the nation had only just noticed in Dannii what she had known all along!
Is that true? Or has Dannii genuinely changed along with the public's perception of her?

After looking over some footage of last years X Factor where we saw the arrival of the young, beautiful Cheryl Cole it appears that Dannii had been shunted to the left to make room for Ms Cole. The chair in the judges panel stratigically placed next to Simon Cowell had been swiped from under Dannii's bottom to be replaced by a slightly younger bottom belonging to Cheryl. This, I believe, was the beginning of Dannii's somewhat difficult year, to say the least.
Cheryl Cole had managed to become 'the nations sweetheart'. We just couldnt get enough of her. I dont know whether it was her lucious locks, flawless face or that jolly Geordie accent we'd all grown to know and love. There was no question about it, next to Cheryl Cole, Dannii Minogue was old and ugly. (This of course is not correct, I am merely using hyperbole.)

During the course of the series Cheryl's popularity soared, perhaps aided by her popular and copiously talented category of the girls, while Dannii's continued to plummet. Why this was, it is uncertain. However, Dannii did show a distinct lack of emotion towards contestents whilst weeping Cheryl reaped the benefits of an overactive tear gland. Perhaps the audience felt they could not connect with her due to her supposed steely front. Or maybe it was her title as 'Queen of botox' - the British are, of course, against plastic surgery.

Another issue Dannii faced was the ongoing supposed 'fight' between Cheryl and herself, the press cottoned on to the idea that Dannii must be bitter about Cheryl's arrival (a claim that both women denied). Perhaps the public felt that someone 'against' their beloved Cheryl Cole was not someone they would waste their time supporting.

This year Danni's ride on the X Factor has been considerably smoother than last. She arrived onto our screens with the new must-have haircut and immediately stole our hearts. Cheryl however seemed to lose some supporters, perhaps due to a string of bad decisions now hanging over her head.
Dannii has had a couple of uncomfortable moments this year, namely the controversial moment when she accidently 'outed' Danyl Johnson on live TV. There were many complaints sent into the X Factor but I think it can be agreed that she seems to have redeemed herself and it was a genuine mistake.

Danni's appeared on ITV's Pierce Morgans Life Stories was a lovely moment for Dannii to have her say after all she has had to endure from the public and the press. She shared intimately about her tough times on the X Factor in 2006 with Sharon Osborne. She also spoke of the tragic time her sister Kylie was diagnosed with breast cancer. The programme felt like a celebration of the end of a time of tribulation for her and there was a real sense of looking forward to the future for Dannii Minogue.

P.S. She also had a bit of a blub. Maybe we just like crying celebrities.

Thursday, 5 November 2009

What is the 'X' factor?

 I believe that the 'X' factor has is a mixture of musical ability, personality and performance skills. Without one of these ingredients perhaps that person cannot be described as 'having the X Factor'. Due to this theory surely we can elliminate a number of the contestents from being possible winners of the show. Should i care to go into this further? Why yes i think I just might...

Jamie - Musical ability? Yes, he is a talented singer and guitar player. He has a musician feel to him. You can just tell.
Personality? Definately. However it comes out alot more in the backstage footage on the website and Xtra Factor. His banter with the other contestents.
Performance Skills? I would say yes. Some may not like the inverted knee (he does look a little like hes bursting for the toliet) or the air punches, but you cannot deny that the guy has 'stage presence'

Danyl - Musical ability? Hes one of, if not the, best singer in the competition. He writes his own songs. Need I say more?
Personality? I think this is where people arent quite getting Danyl. In my opinion he seems like a nice guy, I cant see the arrogance that so many others see in him. However i will listen to anything anyone has to say about the matter (provided its not just 'I hate him, he is arrogant and cocky and a bully' - there is no real proof or information there people)
Performance skills? Just go watch his first audition.

Olly - Musical ability? Good singer, great musicality when he dances.
Personality? Soooo much, hes absolutely hilarious. Check the halloween pumpkin costume.
Performance skills? Probably the best performer in the show.

Lucie - Musical ability? She can sing VERY well.
Personality? Not so sure, I mean there is something there, a little bit 'I'm so cute and girly' for my liking though.
Performance skills? I dont think they are that strong, she just doesnt look particually comfortable. The stage kind of eats her up.

Stacey - Musical ability? She got a good voice.
Personality? Bucket loads. I dont think i really need to comment on this one.
Performance skills? Not so much. I know there was a big joke about the fact that Stacey WALKED on saturday night. But maybe theres something in that, it took alot to get her to walk, what its gonna take to get her to really perform?

John and Edward - Musical ability? Err. No comment.
Personalty? Slightly oblivious and mad. But hilarious none the less. They have an amazing attitude to the competition as well.
Performance skills? They go for it, I'll give them that. But I suppose they are a little all over the place. Entertaining, yes. But maybe just because the british love a bit of car crash TV.

Lloyd - Musical ability? He has a mediocre voice with no range whatsoever.
Personality? Doesnt appear to be anything behind the pretty face. (maybe hes just shy, i dont know)
Performance skills? None.

Joe - Musical ability? He has an amazing voice, always in tune. Very consistent.
Personality? He seems like a genuine, nice person. However he doesnt seem to be able to come up with anything more interesting than 'thanks for you comments, I'll take them all on board' to say to the judges.
Performance skills? I wouldnt say hes a natural, but I think he tries really hard and does well at whatever is thrown at him. Hes done well so far.

So in conclusion
taking into account my theory on the 'X' factor, the contestents who have it are : Jamie, Danyl, Olly and maybe Joe.
Think I'm bias? Well maybe i am. But prove me wrong....

Wednesday, 4 November 2009


I don't think an act on the X Factor has ever received as much attention as these infamous twins. With a hair-style and singing ability ridiculous enough to make any grown man run for the hills, John and Edward have been surrounded by controversy since the very beginning of the competition.

Whether or not they can sing is no longer the question (it has been concluded that they, in fact, cannot). The question now remains, do these brothers have what must be an increasingly large number of devoted fans, or are the public merely trying to get on Simon Cowells nerves and possibly cause him to leave the country?

As usual I will give my two pennies worth on this act (sorry).
I'd like to say that my love for the twins begun right from those fatal words: 'I'm John, and I'm Edward, and together we are John and Edward.'
However I, like the rest of the country, took an immediate disliking to them. Thinking them delusional and arrogant. All through bootcamp and judges houses my dislike persisted. Until the time came for Louis to chose his final 3 acts and I came to the realisation that Louis was going to pick the twins (they are Irish) and, you know what, its going to be bloody funny.

From then on I have loved them with all my heart. My personal favourite 'Jedward' moment has to be the talking interlude in their version of Britney Spears' 'Oops I did it again'.

Right now my thoughts towards the twins are that I would love to watch them every week on the X Factor but I admit i would never buy their album. I would also not like them to take a spot away from any of my favourites. So I'm at a bit of a loss with John and Edward. However I have a feeling they are going to be around for a long while yet.

SEXY Olly Murs

There is not too much to say about Olly Murs. He has come through the competition steadily, increasing his pack of followers each week. There has been not too much drama where he is concerned, but boy is he a hottie. I think it might be a mixture of the cool, essex geezer, with a bit of crotch thrusting that does it for me.
His performance on Rock Week was the performance of the night. His entertaining skills are incredible and i think his singing has improved greatly over the weeks as well. Nice one Olly.
Hes a right all-rounder now.

Lloyd 'pretty boy' Daniels

Lloyd Daniels. What can i say? If there has ever been a case of someone getting to where they are solely on their looks, it has to be Mr Lloyd Daniels (along with mentor Cheryl Cole of course).

What is hilarious is that even in Lloyds first audition he was really quite poor. Completely out of tune and the judges were about to write him off right there and then until Ms Cole decided it would be a good idea to give him another go, (the first of many bad decisions).
Lloyd got through. Then through Bootcamp and finally through judges houses (where it was only Cheryl making the decision of course). Since the start of the live shows it has become increasingly apparent that Lloyd has an incredibly weak voice. He has a minimal range, which we saw in week one where he could not reach the high notes in Justin Timberlakes 'Cry me a River'. However he has a strong 'girly' fanbase, made up of most of the 14 year old girls in Britain who think hes 'gawjus'. (for the record, may I just say, I cant quite see the appeal)

Along with having a weak voice, Lloyd has no stage presence whatsoever. He appears uncomfortable on the stage, particually when he is surrounded by scantily-clad ladies.

The judges (minus Cheryl) seem to have picked up on his distinct lack of talent in the last few weeks, and finally, on sunday night, the public seemed to get it too and Lloyd was in the bottom 2 for the first time.
Lloyd had a sore throat, which took an unnessesary amount of  attention, both from Cheryl and from Lloyd himself making repeated gestures towards his throat during his performance, and once even sticking his tongue out in a choking-mime type way. I think the facts need to be looked at here. The reason Lloyd could not reach the high notes in his song was not because of his throat but because he is not a particually good singer, HE HAS NEVER BEEN ABLE TO SING HIGH NOTES (see above).
However Simon then let the British public down and chose to take the result to deadlock after Louis and Dannii both chose to save Rachel. Lloyd of course has slightly more votes than Rachel and so survived for another week. Where, no doubt, his avid fans will spend all their pocket money keeping him in.

danYl johnson

Best first audition. Always consistent. UH-mazing voice. Brilliant performer.
So why has he gone from 'favourite' to 'more hated than Hitler'?

 From the first live show Cheryl and Louis commented on Danyl's supposed 'cocky' persona. However, as Simon pointed out, what they loved about him in his first audition was his confidence and now it is being used as a point of criticism. Feeling a little bitter Cheryl and Louis?

Danyl's popularity has plummetted since his being tipped to win the show right from the first episode of this years X Factor, where his incredible, energetic performance was saved to the end of the programme sending the opening episode out with a bang.
Danyl's performances have been consistently good.
In the first live show his rendition of 'and I'm telling you' was deemed 'one of the best performances' Simon had ever seen. However it was somewhat overshadowed by Dannii's unfortunate controversial comment concerning Danyl's sexuality.

 In week two Danyl performed a new Whitney Houston song. After recieving 'not exactly rave reviews' from Whitney herself, singing an unknown Whitney song seemed to be a risky option for him. But boy did he pull it off! It was a brilliant song choice and Danyl finished the performance with one of his signiture held-for-quite-a-long-time high notes that never fail to get the hair on the back of my neck standing on end.

Week three saw the return of Big Band Week. A popular theme of the show for most. For me, Danyl's performance of 'I'm feeling good' was the performance of the night. As Louis put it, 'the most authentic'. That night i began to notice Cheryls continuely irritable attitude towards Danyl- 'Another good performance from Danyl Johnson' was her comment. She said it in a somewhat annoyed way as if she was bored of his amazing performances. Have anything to do with the fact that you are mentoring the likes of Lloyd, Cheryl?
In a shock results show on sunday night Danyl was seen in the bottom 2 along with Miss Frank (another act who came into their own on Big Band). Danyl stole the show (in my humble opinion) with his rendition of 'With a little help from my friends'- his audition song.
In the judges voting Louis obviously stuck by his act and chose to send home Danyl (as much as it pained me, i was expecting it, so I let him off). Dannii then chose to send home Miss Frank. The RIGHT decision, I'm sure you'll agree (and if not, you're wrong). Simon stuck with Danyl. Then Cheryl did something that she will never be redeemed for. She thought only of herself and her greed to win, and chose Danyl to be sent home, taking it to DEADLOCK (can i just mention how funny i find it when deadlock flashes up on the screens behind and the two 'tense' drum beats sound and Dermot puts his 'concerned' face on)
In conclusion the act with the lowest votes was Miss Frank.

The week just gone - Week Four/Rock Week, was a tough time for any Danyl fans out there. The week after Danyl's episode in the bottom two saw many disgusting articles and headlines about how much everyone hates Danyl. Someone apparently posted on twitter that he is 'more hated than hitler'. A ridiculous claim and perhaps people need a little perspective seeing as they are comparing a 'cocky' singer who is performing on a popular ITV talent show, to an insane mass murderer, plotting to take over the world.
Rock week saw Danyl perform Aerosmith's 'Don't wanna miss a thing'. He was in the wrong key in the first verse but managed to bring it back by the end, where he smashed it (a popular phrase, i have noticed, on this years X Factor). Dannii and Louis both seemed genuinly sad about Danyl's overall state (he stood in front of them looking glum). Cheryl however (are you beginning to see the pattern emerging?) told him 'you do everything, and you do it well, you just dont do it for me.' Way to kick a man when he's down!
In backstage footage later uploaded onto the X Factor website we can see Danyl crying after his performance and being comforted by Sinitta. He says 'I couldnt hear the track at the beginning'.

Lets hope Danyl can bring it back up to his usual standards next week. We'll be rootin' for ya!

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

hello and welcome

I've decided the best way to funnel all my ridiculously opinionated views on THAT PROGRAMME is to start a bloody blog. I hope you enjoy my comments, probably mostly rantings, but occasionally (i.e. when Louis does his 'special' clap, or when Olly does some more crotch thrusting) there will be a ray of light in my words.

As i am writing we have just passed 'Rock Week'. A very distressing time for me due to the slating poor Danyl had to endure. However by the end of the show Olly managed to brighten my mood with his steely performance and sheer manly-ness. I think he may be the definition of sexy.

I'm going to do a post on each of the more interesting (or not, ahem lloyd) contestents. I want to keep it short and snappy! And I'll try my hardest to keep my angry rants to a minimum.